


when i wake up next to you (i wonder how)

by beneathyourbravery



Series: how did we end up here? [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bottom Mark Lee (NCT), First Time, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Kinktober 2020, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mentions of religion, Pining, Porn with Feelings, Roommates, Top Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, overuse of the word "dude"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:02:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beneathyourbravery/pseuds/beneathyourbravery
Summary: as it tends to happen with mostly everything else in his sort of crazed life, if anyone were to ask yukhei how he ended up here — here being in between mark lee’s spread legs while the canadian sits atop of yukhei’s messy desk, his hands pushed underneath mark lee’s thin white shirt, feeling the muscles of his abs involuntarily tense every time yukhei’s lips so much as brush against the sensitive spot on his neck where a mole serves as a signal for him to know where to kiss and suck the hardest — he probably would have never believed things could turn out to be like this.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Series: how did we end up here? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957891
Comments: 14
Kudos: 193





	when i wake up next to you (i wonder how)

**Author's Note:**

> hello there ! here i am, revisiting my favorite au to bring you a little taste of lumark after a while !
> 
> this story is kind of complementary to "you said you liked my coldplay shirt" - it's an extended version of the final scene of chapter 2, so if you're planning on reading that story first, i’d suggest leaving this one for when you're done! but if you don't want to, i believe you don't necessarly /need/ to read it in order to enjoy this story (although i'd recommend you to hehe), all that you need to know is that markhei are friends with benefits and that yukhei is going through some serious pining with mark. 
> 
> written for kinktober #vivitober2020 day 22: first time - and hey, it's actually my first time writing porn too !

as it tends to happen with mostly everything else in his sort of crazed life, if anyone were to ask yukhei how he ended up here — _here_ being in between mark lee’s spread legs while the canadian sits atop of yukhei’s messy desk, his hands pushed underneath mark lee’s thin white shirt, feeling the muscles of his abs involuntarily tense every time yukhei’s lips so much as brush against the sensitive spot on his neck where a mole serves as a signal for him to know where to kiss and suck the hardest — he probably would have never believed things could turn out to be like this.

in the grand scheme of things, he supposes as he bites down gently on mark’s bottom lip, there’s no one else but themselves that he can blame on the situation; cause really, if yukhei ever allowed himself to think about it, he guesses that saying that mark lee is _just_ his very best friend would sound too far fetched for anyone to believe.

because yeah, mark lee was _just_ his best friend last year, when they were both new in a foreign city working together towards building a home out of the life they shared, common friends that felt more like family than many of their actual relatives ever had. and yeah, mark lee was still _just_ his best friend when yukhei had discovered what being with another man felt like underneath kim jungwoo’s touch, how sweet the relief of finding the truth about your own self can feel on the heart, comforting like a warm glass of milk before day on a cold winter day. 

and yeah, maybe mark lee was _still just his best friend_ the first time they’d kissed; right in the darkness of the back of their favorite nightclub, with no one but themselves to witness the cusp of a relationship growing so steadily that it had probably been only a matter of time until gazes and words stopped being enough of a proof of just how much mark and yukhei loved each other. 

but the second time it happened, when yukhei’s hands had grown greedy and he’d wanted more and more; and the third, when mark lee had rolled those _sinful_ hips of his down against his thigh as he gasped into the warmth of his mouth, wet, hard kisses telling stories in the places where goofy, lighthearted words had before; and the fourth, and the one after that one, and the many more that were to come before this very exact moment — all those times, mark lee was not _just_ his best friend, if only because best friends do not make out and then jerk off each other before bed every other night in their too small college dorm shared room.

because yukhei will never dare to admit it out loud, for it is a truth too big to be spoken out in the open just like that — where anyone could hear and take for themselves, once it escapes the safety of the solid walls of his own chest, where yukhei’s heart grows bigger with every single brush of his hands against mark’s —, but ten had been right when he’d told him the words that are now engraved with burning fire inside yukhei’s ribcage. 

_it’s always about love_ , because best friends do not get lost in each other’s touch like there’s nothing to be lost whenever the door to their room is closed, best friends do not gravitate towards each other like the tide goes to the moon when alcohol on a night out ignites the flaming burn of desire inside their bellies; and if best friends was still all that they were, yukhei would not wonder, every night mark lee falls asleep against his chest, what it would be like to hold his hand and kiss him in front of the whole world to see. 

_it’s always about love_ , _best friends do not sleep together every single night_ , and yukhei knows it and does with the knowledge what every other sane person would do if they were faced with an unraveled mark lee saying how _‘it’s been so long since i last fucked someone’_ , because what he’s got with yukhei feels easier and much better than any other thing ever could; asking if he would _‘wanna try to fuck me? i’ve never done it like that before, you know’_ , because there’s no one in the world he’d trust to take his (second) virginity other than him: he takes it for what it is, an undeniable truth with enough power to ruin his whole entire life, stuffs it all in the narrowest cabinet at the back of his brain and kicks the door closed right as he hauls mark on top of his desk and brings their lips together into the neediest kiss he ever remembers having.

mark lets out the faintest start of a laugh rumble against yukhei’s mouth for a second before his hands move, one to find purchase on his broad shoulders, the other to fist yukhei’s hair and pull him closer to his own body, and yukhei doesn’t want to think about how mark’s bible is resting atop the desk opposite to the one where he’s feeling him up over his clothes with the kind of hunger that can only be satiated with sinful pleasure clawing at the pit of his stomach. 

and it’s natural, by now, the way mark’s back arches to press their chests together when yukhei’s hands are splayed right on the dimples above his ass, the way his lips part to let yukhei’s tongue swipe over wet heat, and yukhei is enamoured even though he does not want to be; because mark lee is unattainable — too bright of a star, too strong of a fire, the force of a hurricane too far from yukhei’s reach —, and one day it will hurt to have known the taste of his lips, when it is time to let him go, but for now.

for now yukhei pushes the warm palm of his hand underneath mark’s thin white shirt, stretched taut across his defined abs, and thinks, _this is mine, if only for one night_ ; and thinks, _he wants me, he’s asked for me to be the one_ ; and says, hot against mark’s jaw,

“you’re gonna be the death of me,” because they’ve been kissing for no more than two minutes and he already feels short of breath with how fast mark lee makes his heart beat.

“dude,” mark actually laughs, then, and there are goosebumps on his skin when yukhei pulls back to stare at him; all disheveled, cheeks flushed pink and hair a little wild, his starry eyes clouded dark with the excitement that’s already starting to show against the crotch of his sweatpants, “don’t die now, we haven’t even done anything yet.”

 _yet_ , and yukhei thinks he could do it all right there, right then; push his hand into mark’s pants and make him come undone under his touch like he’s done so many times now that it feels as familiar as doing it on his own once did, hold him down and bite at his skin until there are faint marks blossoming as a proof of what yukhei did and mark is crying out into the room as he falls apart.

but mark has asked for something else today, and yukhei might be many things — a greedy sinner, a foolish lover, a bad best friend — but he’s definitely not going to be the one to turn down the opportunity at making the person he feels for the most in the entire universe experience something that might, in many different sorts of ways, make him realise things about himself that mark’d never even know were there.

and so yukhei pulls back from the kiss they’re getting lost into now, and gives himself a fraction of a second to appreciate the way mark’s eyelashes flutter against his defined cheeks as he goes to open his confused eyes, sweet and innocent and desperate for more at the same time, before picking him up from the desk as if he weighs nothing to move over to his bed.

“yukhei!” mark giggles, arms and legs tightening around yukhei as he’s maneuvered around the tiny bedroom space.

something stings inside yukhei’s chest, because they don’t often allow themselves to acknowledge each other by name in situations like these, when the lines of their friendship get so blurred that sometimes he feels as if it were inevitable for him to want to spell the three words he’s never dared to say to anyone before, for it would make things weirder, maybe; to know what his name sounds like coming from mark’s lips as he squirms and twists in unraveled pleasure, to let mark know just how intoxicated by him he is as he brings himself to completion against the delicious drag of his palm around his cock.

“hm?” yukhei smirks instead, placing mark down on his back on top of his neatly made bed (for he’d rather the boy’s first time be in a clean space and not the jungle he calls his side of the room) before straddling him. “didn’t you enjoy the flight?”

“that sounds like something a sad flight attendant would say,” mark grins, silly and goofy and the only person yukhei will ever feel this much for. then, as if it just came to his head, he adds, pensive, “i’ve heard we should use lots of lube for this.”

their laughs mingle together almost as deliciously as their lips do when they kiss, soft and genuine and full of something none of them will ever dare to name. mark looks delighted, relaxed as he basks in the knowledge that yukhei would never harm him in any way, and yukhei takes advantage of the moment to bend down and kiss him again while his hands push mark’s t-shirt up until it ruckles above his chest.

“i know, silly,” yukhei giggles softly, and it’s a stark contrast to the way mark gasps as his fingers brush gently against one of his sensitive nipples. “we’ll go slow, i don’t want to hurt you.”

“you could never,” mark says, honesty intrinsically laced with the arousal already staining his voice, “but you’re big, dude. it’s kinda scary, you know.”

yukhei’s cheeks flush pink, and he pulls back from where he was kissing down mark’s cheek towards his jaw to hide his face against the crook of his neck. he takes a moment to recompose himself from the shock that it still is to hear mark talk about him like this — unashamed and so irremediably turned on that yukhei feels it pressed against his thigh, through the layers of mark’s pants and his own jeans, hard and throbbing and silently begging for his touch in the way he knows mark’s words still won’t.

“i’m not scary,” yukhei huffs, sitting up in between mark’s legs and running his hands up the inside of his thighs, until he can place a wide palm across the expanse of his belly, “you can always tell me to stop, though, okay? you can tell me whatever, so don’t be like, embarrassed or anything. please.”

“you’re so cute,” mark grins, propping himself up on his elbows so he can press another kiss to yukhei’s lips, trusting and slow. “i’ll tell you, i promise, can we start now? please?”

and honestly, how is yukhei supposed to say no, when mark lee’s spit slick pink lips are pushed out in both the hottest and most adorable pout he’s ever seen?

“lay down,” yukhei says gently, after he’s finally pulled mark’s damned white shirt off, messing up his already ruffled hair in the process. 

mark obeys so sweetly, resting his head on yukhei’s pillow and his back against the mattress, pink and golden and the biggest temptation yukhei’s ever been presented with. he spreads his legs, and the red flush of his cheeks betrays the boldness of the movement, shy and nervous where it could’ve been wanton and somewhat desperate. 

yukhei gets rid of his own hoodie and jeans first, and mark’s grey sweatpants second, throwing them all to the floor from where he knows he’ll have to be the one to pick them up later, and then he’s met with a sight straight out of every wet dream he’s had in the last few months. 

and really, it’s not like those dreams have much to envy from reality, because by now he’s had mark in his bed enough times to know by heart what he looks like when he’s needy for yukhei’s touch against his burning hot skin, how he moans and grunts when yukhei makes him spill into the warm palm of his hand. but when mark stares up at him today — with his eyes holding all the stars the seoul night sky could never, his kiss-swollen lips parted in a silent pant and his disheveled hair like a halo where he’s resting on the same pillow yukhei will fall asleep later with him into his arms —, the sight that’s presented to yukhei on a silver plate almost has him doubling over with the arousal that strikes up his spine; because mark truly is a vision to behold, his hard cock staining his boxers with a damp spot where he’s already leaking, his thighs parted and his hands reaching over to touch yukhei, as he awaits for him to literally be the first man ever to have him _all the way_. 

it shouldn’t be that hot, yukhei reckons as he bends down to leave a trail of wet kisses from mark’s collarbones all the way down to his stomach, the way mark’s face and mark’s gestures tell yukhei about how he’s the person in the world he trusts the most, because best friends do not fuck each other and make it feel as intense as this moment does. but as he sucks a bruise next to mark’s protruding hipbone — as mark buries a hand in his hair, trying to get him to touch him where he needs it the most —, yukhei thinks to himself that it’s just another proof, really, of how hard it is to keep a secret to yourself the way you fell in love for the one person you shouldn’t have fallen for. 

because the heart wants what it wants, and yukhei’s wants mark’s all to himself; and as he finally, _finally_ slides mark’s briefs down his legs and then proceeds to suck marks all over the supple skin of his inner thighs, he allows himself to believe, just for this one time, that mark feels for him more than what he lets him know; that it’s with gestures like this that he shows what his voice will never allow him too, _there’s more to it, i wish it wouldn’t have to be like this_.

“dude,” mark calls out, and his voice is strained, “don’t tease, c’mon.”

“but where’s the fun in that?” yukhei grins, even while he moves his hand over to give a slow stroke to mark’s hard cock, which jerks and spills more precum against the dip of his stomach at the oh-so-longed-for contact. “i thought we said we’d take it slow.”

mark gasps, lifting his hips off the bed as he tries to grind into the warmth of yukhei’s hand, and yukhei withdraws it all the way and shushes the whine that’s about to bubble out of mark’s lips with a slow kiss. he blindly reaches for the half empty -- blame it on mark lee’s late addiction for getting fingered every day before sleep -- bottle of lube that he keeps under his pillow, and when mark’s hand cups the straining bulge yukhei’s carrying in his own underwear, he pulls back with flushed cheeks to fumble the bottle open and get it all started with.

it is not until yukhei is already three fingers deep inside mark that he finally loses all the self-control he’d been trying to exercise ever since he’d first put his hands on mark lee’s narrow waist earlier that afternoon. 

he’s taking things slow, honest to his word, because while it’s definitely not the first time he’s fingered mark into a desperate, panting mess, the goal today goes further than where they’ve gone together before; and if mark wants to get yukhei’s cock inside him, well. yukhei’s going to make sure it hurts as little as it’s possible, given the circumstances. 

and so he goes _maddeningly_ slow; makes sure mark’s enough stretched out around one digit before adding a second, scissoring them against his tight walls for a long, long while until he deems him ready for a third. and he tries, really, to keep himself calm even if his own cock twitches and damps his black briefs with every single needy sound mark makes, _please, fuck, feels good, right there_ , little _ah_ ’s that have yukhei losing his goddamn mind and aching to just bury himself inside this boy who’s actually driving him crazy and let himself get lost into the relief it would surely bring him to find his own release.

yukhei tries, and then mark lets out the loudest cry into the open of their shared room, his back arching as he tries to fuck himself back on yukhei’s fingers, so utterly gone in his pleasure that he’s even _drooling_ from the corner of his lips, and yukhei outright moans at the sight and pulls his fingers out much to mark’s dismay. 

“no, no, no, please,” mark cries, frantic as he thrusts up into the air, all hard bones and sharp edges and desperate for any kind of friction against the hardness of his leaking cock, “so close, need it, please.”

and yukhei is only human, so he pushes down his boxers in a rush and moves over to hover over mark until he can press their lips together and kiss his pretty whines away. 

and mark lee is a _menace_ , and so he wraps his legs around yukhei’s thigh and tries to grind his aching hardness against taut muscle. 

“want me to do it?” yukhei asks, already half delirious from the constant drag of his cock against mark’s abs while they kiss, pulsing with heat.

“please,” mark begs, soft and airy and dirty and sweet all at the same time, the way he knows yukhei will never be able to deny him anything. “wanna feel you inside, want it so bad, please.”

yukhei sits up once again, his hands trembling in pure, utter _need_ as he goes to stand up to look for a condom somewhere — it really _has been a long time_ _since he last fucked someone_ , as he told mark, and they’d never even played around with this idea before for him to have thought of placing them somewhere more convenient —, but mark’s hand shoots up to grab him by the wrist before he can so much as try to pull away from him.

“we need a condom,” yukhei says, his voice deep and heavy from arousal.

but mark shakes his head, his eyes wild and teary and dark from how turned on the poor boy is, and he licks his lips once before daring to voice out the words that are hammering against the inside of his bruise-littered chest.

“don’t,” his breath getting caught in his throat once before he manages to get it right, “wanna feel you, please.”

yukhei’s mind goes blank, the system failing pathetically at the overwhelming force of mark lee’s request. it all comes crashing like a wave a moment later, and he has to brace himself with a hand on the wall against which the bed is pressed to find enough strength to speak.

“are you sure?” yukhei asks, just to make sure he heard right, afraid of confusing reality with yet another secret fantasy fabricated by his lovesick brain.

“yes,” mark replies, too quick for how fucked out he already looks, nodding his head vehemently and sitting up so he can look straight into yukhei’s eyes. “i’m clean, and you said it’s been a long time, and just. i wanna feel you, please? i really want it like this.”

yukhei should probably stop himself one day and think about the implications that come with the way he is absolutely unable to deny mark lee anything; what it says about how whipped for him he is, so utterly gone that his words feel like white lightning burning through his veins. but today he places a hand on the nape of mark’s neck and brings him closer for another wet, hard kiss that leaves them both breathless, chests rising in tune with the frantic beating of their hearts, and gets lost in the gift that is to feel him give under the push of his hands like this. 

“you’re seriously gonna end me,” yukhei says, his forehead pressed against mark’s for a moment, until mark rolls his hips up one more time and reaches for the lube himself. 

“mhm,” mark mumbles, more focused on lathering his hand with the slippery substance than anything else, still as affected as he was a few moments ago, “but i’m the one who’s going to die if you don’t fuck me _right now_.”

yukhei would’ve liked to respond to that — maybe with words, maybe with another kiss, a mean stroke of his hand around mark’s weeping cock or the wet slide of his tongue against the spots that make him squirm the most —, but mark is wrapping his wet, slick hand around his dick next, and well. 

there’s just so much yukhei can do, when it comes down to this.

mark holds his breath for a little too long while yukhei finally, _finally_ buries himself to the hilt inside him, and so he ends up wheezing when he allows both himself to let air flow into his lungs, and the overwhelming feeling of being stretched open around yukhei’s cock wash over him. 

he looks exquisite, yukhei thinks to himself, flushed from his cheeks all the way down to his chest, and something inside yukhei’s ribcage aches at the knowledge that it’s all because of him. 

“good?” yukhei asks, his teeth gritted together with the effort it takes to speak when the tightness of mark’s ass is almost suffocating around his girth. 

mark opens his mouth and then closes it, shaky breaths leaving his lips when they part, and yukhei doesn’t dare to move a muscle just in case he’s in any kind of pain. but then mark’s relaxing — his hands reaching over to hold onto yukhei’s arms where he’s holding mark’s thighs open, in a place between his legs he does not think he will ever want to leave —, and a loud moan resonates into the room when he finally unclenches and grinds down experimentally against yukhei’s cock.

“fuck,” mark cries out, and his cheeks are red and his eyes are closed tight, “good, it’s good, feels so good, oh my god.”

yukhei can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of his mouth at the sight mark lee makes, splayed out on his bed with yukhei’s cock deep inside his ass and still the cutest boy yukhei’s ever seen in his life.

“yeah?” he says, arousal making his voice strain, “you’re so beautiful like this, you know.”

“please,” mark gasps, with yet another roll of his hips, the muscles on his thighs flexing under yukhei’s palms, “fuck me, please, c’mon.”

and so yukhei does — adjusts his position until he’s almost sitting in between mark’s legs, mark’s lower half supported on his thighs while his back stays pressed against the bed, and starts thrusting into mark’s wet heat until there’s nothing but mark’s moans, yukhei’s own grunts and the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin resonating across the four walls of their dorm room. 

yukhei takes it slow, at first, rejoicing in the pleasure that is to have mark’s hole flutter open for him every time he grinds up into his heat and basking in the glory that is to have mark lee squirming and twisting and shaking for him like this; and picks up his pace, later, when mark begs him for more, _there, faster, harder, please_ , one of his hands reaching down to swipe a thumb across the wet tip of mark’s cock, his own already throbbing with the imminent need for release.

“you feel so fucking good,” he moans against mark’s shoulder. 

mark’s hips move against his own and he lets out a broken moan, and yukhei thinks he’s going a little bit crazy, everything too heated up for him to truly grasp the extent of what they’re doing.

but then — 

it’s a whisper, so soft that yukhei is afraid to have made it up; a breathy moan, a small _‘yukhei’_ falling from mark’s pink, parted lips. and it shouldn’t mean anything, cause it surely doesn’t to mark, but to yukhei.

to yukhei it feels massive, because they’ve never said each other’s names like this — for yukhei believed it would be too much for mark, kind of like breaching their silent agreement of being friends and only friends, because friends do not think of each other when they cum —, and he is so overwhelmed that he comes inside mark a few thrusts after he hears it, body taut with tension, teeth grinding together so he doesn’t cry out mark’s name into the open of their room.

mark cums, too, with a couple strokes of yukhei’s hand around his cock, and he does cry out yukhei’s name, loud and unashamed.

yukhei closes his eyes, and wishes with all he has for mark to feel what he feels, too — a too-deep kind of love, eating away every last bit of his sanity and leaving him entirely at mark’s mercy.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! please leave kudos and/or comment if you enjoyed this story, and you can find me on [twt](https://twitter.com/hanniecuqui) and [cc](https://curiouscat.me/peekatom) <3.


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